From a chapter of "Guilty" titled "Victim of a Crime? Thank a Single Mother":

In any event, divorced mothers should be called "divorced mothers," not "single mothers." We also have a term for the youngsters involved: "the children of divorce," or as I call them, "future strippers." It is a mark of how attractive it is to be a phony victim that divorces will often claim to belong to the more disreputable category of "single mothers." [Page 36]

Later in the chapter: "Single motherhood is like a farm team for future criminals and social outcasts." [Page 38]

Following that logic, since my kid's not even the child of a divorce, and is the product of a "disreputable" single mother, there's no way she can turn out to be anything but a stripper, future criminal, or social outcast. It's so great to be judged by someone who has neither been a mother or a wife.

Not surprisingly, the single mom bashing isn't even close the worst things she talks about in her book. I'm sure we'll hear plenty about her hate-filled pages in the next weeks so I'm just sticking to the stuff that smashed my heart.

Between Ann Coulter on the right, and Keith Olberman on the left, it's easy to see why our country is so divided. I'm so sick of these ridiculously pigheaded people being paid ridiculous amounts of money to say ridiculously mean things on a regular basis. I would imagine that 60-70 years ago, somebody would have been fired for even suggesting that such divisive and hateful person be given a platform.

(I should mention that Coulter was kicked off the Today show tomorrow to be replaced by Perez Hilton. I bet that stings.)

Quotes courtesy of Media Matters (I sure in the hell didn't pay for her diarrhea of brain).

A beautiful memorial video from Turner Classics for the Hollywood legends we lost in 2008. I'd like to see the Oscars top this. I wonder why Estelle Getty wasn't featured?

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There was actually a backup of the directory from a couple of hours ago, but the only folder with the only file I needed was just kinda... not there. Damn.

I'm drained. I barely got any sleep last night. The few hours I actually remained asleep were very restless, and I've been tired all day.

I'm happily functioning in denial right now. My grandparents moved to Florida (two day drive away) when I was around 5 and I haven't seen them very often, especially over the last few years. I went down so they could meet Aralyn, but that was a few years ago. It's hard to really make the connection that she's gone. I know she is, but it just hasn't really sunk in yet. Or maybe over the past year of knowing she had Stage 4 lung cancer I've just come to terms with it.

Ow, don't leave your feet to warm by the baseboard electric heater even with shoes on, they get deceptively hot. Braindead moment of the day.

Well...

...

I don't have much else to say. I think I'm just going to go to bed.

Yesterday was my birthday. I twittered a request asking that my 23rd year be better than my 22. It started off pretty good, I got dishes and silverware, and am expecting Lost season 4 any day, which were the only things I wanted. I also got a call from the doctor finally, to tell me my MRI was normal which means it's not my ACL (thank God). An orthopedic doctor is supposed to call me this week to set up an appointment. So that was a nice birthday surprise.

But today? Well, about an hour ago my Grandma died. She had lung cancer. We had been expecting it, but that sure doesn't take the hurt away. The good news is, she's the type of person you have no doubt is in a better place now. I believe in Heaven, and if anyone still gets in it's bound to be her. I feel the worst for my Grandpa. They were best friends, and just celebrated 60 years. I haven't spoken to him, but I know he's got to be just crushed right now. Poor man.

I have an almost-finished scrapbook of photos for them that I was sending for Christmas. I'm kicking myself for not finishing it over Thanksgiving.

I know I'm only a day into 23, but it's sure not starting out so great. Request denied.

I had an MRI on my knee this morning at 7. I had to limp around half the hospital to get registered (apparently the registration desk is closed on the weekends, so I had to register at the ER - on the other side of the damn building). It took about 45 minutes and the fan was directly blowing on me so I sat there with my eyes closed dreaming of the Bahamas trying to warm up. I'll have the results on Monday, which means I will probably have to go in on Monday, which means I have to go to the doctor on my birthday. But if they have an answer and a solution then that's about the best birthday present I could ask for, so here's hoping.

I don't usually do the meme thing, generally because I get bored with it, but I'm in the mood and don't have much else to blog about so here is one courtesy of Sunday Stealing on a Saturday. Yanno, so you can get to know me a little better. :) After the cut for those who don't care.



LAYER 1: Tell us your...

* Name: Natasha
* Birthday (month, day): December 8
* Birthplace: Elgin, Illinois
* Current location: Craphole, Missouri
* Eye color: Green/Hazel
* Hair color: Brown
* Height: 5'8
* Righty or lefty: right
* Zodiac sign: Sagittarius

LAYER 2: What's...

* Your heritage: German and Cherokee are dominant, but I'm mostly mutt.
* The shoes you wore today: White sneakers
* Your weakness: Nerdy escapism
* Your fears: Driving on ice
* Your perfect pizza: Sausage, mushrooms, and black olives - don't knock it 'til you try it
* Goals youd like to achieve: I'd like to grow all of my sites larger
* Your first waking thoughts: Ugh, it's morning already?
* Your best physical feature: My lips
* Your most missed memory: Being pregnant, I loved it. If it didn't result in a baby I'd be pregnant all the time ;)

LAYER 3: Do you...

* Smoke: Yes - though I've promised myself to quit at 25
* Cuss: Yes
* Sing: Badly
* Do you think youve been in love: Yes
* Did you go to college: For a little while, for nursing
* Liked high school: I liked being homeschooled for grades 9 and 10, and wish I wouldn't have gone back for
* Want to get/stay married: Someday
* Believe in yourself: Yes
* Think youre attractive: Occasionally
* Think youre a health freak: Heck no
* Get along with your parent(s): More often than not
* Like thunderstorms: As long as I'm 100% positive that there won't be an accompanying tornado, yes.
* Play an instrument: I used to play flute (guess how many times I've heard "this one time, at band camp" jokes)

LAYER 4: In the past month have you

* Drank alcohol: No but I will be next week!
* Smoked: Yes
* Made out: No
* Gone on a date: No, I really don't date. I think that no daddy is better than 20 daddies for Aralyn.
* Gone to the mall: Yes
* Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Surprisingly, no. I did eat the majority of a dozen super chocolate chip cookies by myself, though.
* Eaten sushi: No
* Been on stage: Heck no
* Been dumped: Nope
* Gone skating: I haven't been skating in years
* Gone skinny dipping: No
* Stolen Anything: No

LAYER 5: Have you ever

* Played a game that required removal of clothing: No, I honestly haven't
* Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes, but only once. I don't really like drinking
* Been caught doing something: Nope
* Been called a tease: Yep
* Gotten beaten up: I have never been in a fight. I stay away. Epileptics do well to avoid anything that may cause head trauma and public convulsions.
* Shoplifted: Hah, have I got a story for you. Remember Hanson? More importantly, remember Mmmbop? I shoplifted that single and a bottle of nail polish when I was 11. I felt terrible and never did it again.

LAYER 6:

* Age you did get/hope to be married: I wanted to be married by 25, but now I'm not worried about it. I love being single.
* Numbers and names of children (either you have or want): One almost-4-year-old named Aralyn
* Describe your dream mate: Knight in shining armor? Do they still have those?
* How do you want to die: In my sleep when I'm very old.
* What did you want to be when you grow up: A doctor, but my memory is too bad for that field.
* What country would you most like to visit: Greece

LAYER 7: Now tell...

* Name a drug youve taken illegally: The only thing I've ever done illegally is smoke pot.
* Name a person you could trust with my life: Shannon
* Name a favorite CD that you own: Still Searching by Senses Fail
* Number of piercings: 5 currently- my nose, and two holes in each ear. Bottom holes are gauged to 2 (that means I can stick a McD's straw through my ear). I used to have my labret and my monroe pierced but I took those out because the maintenance was annoying.
* Number of tattoos: 3- Aralyn's name on my neck, a vine on my wrist, and stars on my knee.
* Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: I'd say 5 or 6
* Name a past experience that you regret: Allowing so-called "friends" to mooch off of me for the better part of a year.

So, I've had some mystery knee pain for almost a month now. My right knee just hurts. Constantly. If I sit in the same position (at my computer, for instance) it locks up and refuses to move without inspiring a string of bad words to flow out (which coincidentally, my potty mouth also inspired Aralyn to take up my favorite dirty word - not good) along with a tear or two. It hurts. Bad. All the stinkin' time. When I wake up I can hardly put my weight on it, and stretching out in bed while asleep has woken me up on more than one occasion.

I've put off going to the doctor because, hey I'm a single mom and it sucks enough to have to go to the doctor alone but towing a kiddo along and trying to keep them quiet and entertained to actually HEAR the doctor for five seconds is not an easy task. So I bought a nice brace from Walmart and have been using that for a couple of weeks. The brace helps a little, but I still want to lie down to crawl up/down stairs rather than try to walk, and trying to walk around to grocery shop and such isn't any different with or without the brace.

This morning I sucked it up and made an appointment. Thankfully I live in a small town and got in this morning. The doctor thinks it's either tendonitis (tendinitis? I've seen it spelled both ways, not sure which is correct), or a problem with my ACL. I'm leaning towards tendonitis, but that may be because the thought of anything being wrong with my ACL is terrifying. I've known four people to have a torn ACL and it required surgery and very painful rehab to correct. Not to mention, I don't excercise (yes, I should, leave me alone), I work on a computer, and the most walking I usually do is inside of Walmart or the grocery store, and ACL problems are generally considered a sports injury.

I had some Xrays done today, and Aralyn got a bunch of stickers for hanging out with the cool nurse ladies behind the window wall while I was being contorted into various painful positions. Okay, it was just one really painful position, but I had to lie perfectly still in that very painful position so it counts as five. On Saturday (at 7am, oy!) I have to have an MRI of my knee, and then next week I should know what the deal is. Until then I'm on three 800mg ibuprofen a day to help (hah) with the pain (yeah right).

And there you have it, almost 500 words about my knee. Yes, I really can be THAT boring. :)

Today has just sucked since the minute I rolled out of bed.

• Despite not having a logicial reason (hangover, pregnancy, etc.) reason, I was miserably nauseus for like an hour. I think it was possibly some egg drop soup I made, but Aralyn wasn't sick and she ate it too.


• Once I didn't feel like hurling, I got to work. As I have all weekend after my full work week so that I can have a little cash to grab some deals for Black Friday.


• My first email was a client letting my know that due to an emergency, she had to put off her order until mid-December. I was really counting on that for Christmas shopping next weekend.


• Then, in the one bright spot on the day, I got a reimbursement check from my old credit card company for charging me an annual fee on the card that I had canceled at the begining of this year. That check made up for the money I lost earlier.


• Of course, in fashion of the rest of today, I found out that the heat tape I need so my pipes don't freeze again is going to cost about the same amount that I had already lost, and then gained. Goodbye credit charge reimbursement!


• After work, I found out that my best friend of 10+ years is moving 5 hours away. G-R-E-A-T.


• And the cherry on top? I got my first ever negative feedback on eBay. She said that I was misleading and essential had lied on a listing for some of Aralyn's old clothes (that I thought, and still think, were in pretty damn good shape). It totally sucks. I was completely honest, I pointed out anything that was wrong, and yet there I am! The one with the negative. I'm baffled and bummed.

I need a drink. Is it Friday yet?

Arg! Blah! AHHHH!!!11!!

Stupid photoshop just crashed on me, and I lost about two hours worth of work on a design that I was thisclose to saying "complete" on. Yes I know I should save more often, but sometimes you just get in that groove and totally forget to throw in a little CTRL+S action. Paint Shop Pro has a feature that you can set to save every XX minutes. So when I was using that, I'd only ever lose 15 minutes of work.

You would think something that costs as much as Adobe would throw a feature like that in. Maybe it is there and I just haven't found it, but either way I'm frusterated and now I'm behind and I want to throw a hissy fit.

Bah!!

Christmas is my favorite holiday. I always have a hard time waiting to put my decorations up, so this year - knowing that we don't generally get a lot of snow until early in the new year I said I'd put my decorations up by Thanksgiving, or the first snow. Well, it snowed last Saturday. Of course, it was only flurries and nothing stuck but the second I realized white stuff was falling from the sky I was in my shed digging out the Christmas tree.

I had most of my stuff set up before Aralyn got up, and then she helped me put ornaments on.

Nobody make fun of my movie poster. I have others up too, so it's not just some random occurrence. I'm also not sure if that makes it any better.

By the way, I totally can't wait for the new Wordpress.